Monday, April 15, 2013

bullying, sissies & stones

How Do We Deal With a Bully Without Becoming a Thug in Return?


I am not convinced non-violence is honest enough to be the tool for bullying. You mention balance in some of your writings leading towards answers. Balance is important here also.

My mother was wise and gentle in her pain when I came home at 6 years of age beaten by my best friend. James had been urged by older boys to beat me up. He kicked me up and down my little body to the glee and delight of the others.

Mommy winced at my appearance when I got home for lunch. She told me to go outside and get two small stones. I came back and she told me to place one between the index and middle fingers of each hand, and make a fist.

"Never let it be said you hit first. Try to get out of fighting. Take the first lick if you have to. If you can't get out of it leave a 'known lick'"

Mommy made a gesture stroking an image of an ugly sore on her face.

"Whether you win or lose leave a mark they can touch and remember the beating they took." she said. "My father told us this when we were little. They'll leave you alone."

I learned a great deal about diplomacy coming up in my father's household. As a result of being weary of the fights I had to fight against bullies, and tired of the sound of breaking bone my father regarded me when I was 14, and said, "It is time to teach you how to use words."

And so began a teaching powerful and effective enough to keep me not out of danger and away from bullies, but out of fights with them. Once I learned and developed mastery with the craft I didn't have to fight another until my thirties when I was a law enforcement officer.

I agree with your affirmation, Ms Vamvalis. "May we commit ourselves to creating a better, more peaceful world in honour of all those whose lives have been scarred, traumatized or lost to violence."
I am advocate for the spiritual energy unlearning, and developmental understanding of the dynamic and neccessity of the Predator and the Prey. - Gregory E. Woods, Keeper of Stories 4.5.13

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